OWLS HEAD, Maine — It’s been 40 years to the day since the deadliest plane crash in the state’s history.
17 people died when Downeast Airlines Flight 46 crashed in Owls Head on May 30, 1979.
Only one person survived: 16-year-old John McCafferty.
McCafferty, now 56, still resides in Searsmont, Maine.
He has told his story of surviving this deadly plane crash dozens of times over the years and is telling it again to NEWS CENTER Maine on the 40th anniversary.
"When I think about the whole thing, it just makes me feel sort of sick," said McCafferty. "When I got up this morning instinctively, my body felt shaky. After 40 years and 40 times of having this day, your body just knows instinctively."
McCafferty said it doesn't feel as though 40 years have passed since he survived this plane crash.
"As you get older and look back, 40 years goes quite quickly and it just doesn't seem like 40 years," said McCafferty, looking out over the water on the Belfast waterfront Thursday morning.
McCafferty asked to meet in Belfast instead of Owls Head because he believes his most recent visit to the scene of the crash will be his last.
"40 years ago, I don't remember a lot of things, but obviously the plane crash I do remember," said McCafferty. "People don't understand what it was like to go through something like that if they've never been through it. I often think of how precious time is. It makes you realize things could end at any day and at any given time."
He often thinks about the victims of the crash, the 17 lives lost, and what they would've done in their lifetimes.
40 years has taught him how to live with the survivor's guilt.
"There was a long time that I just felt that I should've been killed in that plane crash and I couldn't figure out why I might've lived," said McCafferty. "There were times that I thought that I shouldn't be alive."
For a while, McCafferty said that he lived with a death wish, especially when it came to him flying airplanes.
Four decades later, his peace of mind has come with time.
"When I think about it, I think how fortunate that I am to have 40 years after that crash," added McCafferty. "I appreciate life. I really appreciate life and I appreciate the time we have and that you never know what's going to happen. We don't know how much longer I'll be around."
McCafferty is now retired and said he plays a lot of golf which helps with his PTSD.
He has also found a new sense of purpose in the form of a book McCafferty is now writing.
"It's a piece of history that I just feel needs to be told."
McCafferty is asking for help with this book. He's looking for an author who may have written a similar book about a near-death experience. Anyone interested can reach out to McCafferty by email at johnmccaffertysolesurvivor@gmail.com.