ELLSWORTH, Maine — NextStep Domestic Violence Project is an organization based in Ellsworth that supports victims and survivors of domestic violence in Hancock and Washington counties. February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness month, and the organization is working to spread awareness and educate people about the issue.
According to the Maine Coalition to End Domestic Violence, more than half of teens in the United States said they have friends who have experienced dating abuse. In Maine, more than 8% of high schoolers have reported that someone they were dating physically hurt them at least once in the past year.
Rylee Deraps, a senior at Sumner Memorial High School, said she has seen the impacts of teen dating abuse firsthand.
"It was very hard ... One of my best friends got into a relationship, and she got into drugs and broke all contact with me," Deraps said.
Deraps said she tried everything she could to get her friend help, and eventually her friend was willing to get the help she needed.
Through it all, Deraps said she never gave up on her friend.
"When she was in rehab, I tried to invite her to stay at my house and live with me so she had a safe place," Deraps said.
NextStep supports victims and survivors of all ages. Alli Williamson, prevention and youth education coordinator for NextStep, said this type of teen dating abuse is not uncommon.
"It happens a lot more than I think a lot of people realize," Williamson said.
This is why Williamson teaches workshops about relationships in schools throughout Hancock and Washington counties. She defined dating violence as an abuse of power and trying to control your partner.
"Some of the examples that we have of what it looks like, they wouldn't have guessed it was wrong or something they shouldn't be experiencing," Williamson said.
Williamson said examples of dating abuse can include someone trying to control who their partner spends time with or what they're able to say or do. She also said she's seen it happen through technology, with a partner's need for constant communication.
Williamson added these behaviors are often learned.
"One of the biggest places that we get those examples is through TV shows and movies," Williamson said.
According to NextStep, it's important for parents to talk to their kids about healthy relationships and boundaries.
Maggie McArthur, a mother of two, said her nine-year-old daughter is already noticing inappropriate behaviors with classmates.
"There was one boy that was following another girl and wouldn't leave her alone and somebody said well he just likes you, that's why he's picking on you like that, and that was a huge red flag," McArthur said.
McArthur said putting a positive spin on inappropriate behavior sets the wrong precedent at such a young age. She said she always tries to make sure her kids feel comfortable talking to her.
"Letting them know even if you don't want to talk to me, here's some resources you can have, I think that's huge," McArthur said.